Jump! Chump! Hints and Tricks

A holy man could search his whole life and never find the cheats, tips, and tricks he needs to become a gosh darn daimyo of Jump! Chump! Lucky for you, your ol' uncle Cool Apps Man is here to help ya out in that department; the tips department, that is! Jump! Chump! is the hottest title on the app store today, because of it's ability to drive the player to the brink of insanity, and then off of the insane cliff, into the briny deeps of the fun zone. Jump! Chump! is available for android in addition to all iOS devices including iPad, iPhone, and iPod touch. Now everyone can get in on the jumpin' (chumpin') good times! Remember, if you want to take your game to the next level, head on back to Cool Apps Man for hints, tricks, and cheats. Jump! Chump! is a simple game with a whole lot of attitude. The screen is held horizontally and divided by a line down the middle, with a little man standing on each side of the line. Tap the bottom half of the screen to make the bottom man jump, and tap the top half to make the top man jump. Monsters are going to approach from either side, and they won't stop until they've eaten your little men down to their tiny bones. Jump or be turned to crump. It's just that simple, chump! As the game progresses you might feel like you need some hints or tips, because your chumps are being blown up too much. Instead of leaving that bee in your bonnet, deposit that bee to the jar at the end of the next two pages of sweet cheats and tips!

Jump! Chump! Pro Tips!

• Note the Size of Your Opponent

The foes in Jump! Chump! come in a variety of sizes, so pay attention before you jump. The chumps jump quickly but not very far, so don't expect hang time to carry you over a big box. That big box is going to destroy everything you have ever loved. :(

• Be Quick on Your Feet

The enemies come in fast and they come in hard. Try telling them you're not feeling like joshing around tonight and that you just want to hang out and collect some points. They won't care none! They gon come at you with the fire eyes and try to get you to metaphorically join their church. Hop over these fools with a quick tap.

• Look Out for Aerial Attacks

Some of the enemies can fly through the air. They're learning. The scientists said we were safe, but that was before the boxes figured out how to open doors and ate them in their stupid white coats. Keep this in mind while playing Jump! Chump!

• The Most Dangerous Situation

It's going to happen. Two boxes will come at you at the same time. This situation happened to Steven Seagall and it will happen to you. Do what he does and leap over both foes at the same time. Shaming them with your agility is the only way they're going to learn who's boss.

• You're Going to Lose, Chump

Look, chump. Everybody dies. Not just in life, in games too. Don't let it get the best of you, you're number one with a bullet. Keep yer chin up, eh?

• Beat Your High Score

High scores are what keep ya coming back to the Jump! Chump! world. Remember that you can't settle if you want to be a champ, and that real champs don't do drugs.

BEE JAR